I think I am, at times, a disgruntled expatriate – a result of momentary disillusion that the grass is greener on the other side when instead I chance to see this “better place” at its proverbial spring time, (that is to say that I was a stricken in the honeymoon phase of living abroad and thus thought home was to be pitied and mocked); that I am hungry, despite the fact I had eaten just moments prior, and these hunger pangs are the result of boredom and urge to purge all snacks from my living space – because, really, that is the best way to remove junk food from your presence; that I am happy; that I am loved by God; that I am easily pleased, easily peeved, and uneasy to sieve out emotionally; I am wasting time; that I am the sole reason the Netherlands lost the 2010 FIFA World Cup because I failed to wear for the final match the same tattered Holland football t-shirt I had worn all throughout the tournament; that I am lazy to hold grudges; that I am in a mental state in life where the sudden wisping by of a ball of dust makes me someone who suffers a minor heart attack and from illusions that the said ball of dust is a massive spider or another monstrous creature that once haunted my nightmares throughout college; that I am – and I will say it again because it is a trustworthy saying worthy of full acceptance – a child of God; I am slow to speak, slow to become angry, slow to learn, slow to adapt new technology, and slow to realise that “cheat meals” in a diet do not mean “cheat weekend”; that I am thankful for being raised in household amidst dirt and farm animals and raised to rebuke sunscreen and medicine for the common cold, for lo, my immunity system is strong; that I am paralysed with indecision; I am a man of brevity, or a man who enjoys stating things as simply and as shortly as possible and with precise wording and concise phrasing, because it is very crucial in everyday life to be exact and to-the-point instead of talking in circles and circumventing your own intentions by over-elaborating on otherwise mundane points; I am hungry again; I am dumbfounded, bewildered, stunned, stupefied that the love of my life, my wife, loves me; that I am at peace; that the do’s I have done make me the am that I am; therefore, I am.